Hello everyone, Dave here wishing you a very happy spooky season. I hope you’re all doing well and have a great weekend lined up.
This newsletter will be a bit different from others, as I have a big announcement to make about the future direction of my comic projects that regular readers of my work will want to see.
So I’m going to flip this newsletter around and do the quick updates first, before diving into the announcement.
Quick updates!
BPM: Beatdowns Per Minute #2 is now shipping to backers and is now available to order on my online store if you’d like a copy: https://davecookcomics.bigcartel.com/product/bpm-beatdowns-per-minute-issue-2
I’ve announced many more contributors to Killtopia: Nano Jams, the first anthology in our cyberpunk world. They include Lucy James, Jason Loo, Sebastian Piriz, Jazzlyn Stone and many more. Check them out here: https://killtopia.co/killtopia%3A-nano-jams
The editing of my run ‘n’ gun history book for Bitmap Books is over halfway done. We just wrapped on the 1990s section, which just leaves the 2000s-2020s to go, then we’re done. It’s out in 2024 and I can’t wait to share it with you. Be sure to follow Bitmap Books on your social platform of choice to get the big reveal when it happens!
Meanwhile, the second printing of my first release for Bitmap Books (Go Straight: The Ultimate Guide to Side-Scrolling Beat ‘em Ups) is selling fast, but you can still grab a copy from their site here: https://www.bitmapbooks.com/products/go-straight-the-ultimate-guide-to-side-scrolling-beat-em-ups
Okay, onto the big one (and it is a big one)
If you’ve been following me on social lately, you may have seen that I’ve recently decided to hit pause on crowdfunding any all-new comics on Kickstarter - this doesn’t apply to the remaining issues of Bust, BPM, Ninja Baseball Spirits and Killtopia: Nano Jams (they’re still going ahead!)
I’m also not exhibiting any at any comic cons beyond the ones I already have booked (Thought Bubble, Edinburgh Comic Arts Festival and Glasgow’s WonderCon in August ‘24)
This means that Killtopia: Phantoms and some unannounced comic projects I was going to crowdfund won’t be appearing on Kickstarter (for now, or perhaps not ever).
I’m not quitting on writing comics, but I am going to make a huge change to how I make them - for my mental wellbeing, physical wellbeing, social life and creative satisfaction (which currently, I have none).
Also, the newsletter will continue each month, as there’s much more to share with you that I can’t discuss yet.
Here we go…
Why am I doing this?
I’ve been thinking for a very long time about why I’m actually making comics. I started out in the beginning with Bust #1 simply doing it for fun, just to see if I could do it. And I did, we hit our Kickstarter goal and got some nice feedback on the book.
So I kept doing it, and kept doing it, and over time I started to feel like I’d found a potential new calling, and a creative outlet where I could get me ideas out in a physical format that could entertain people, brighten their day, make them laugh, or have a positive impact on their life.
Hearing from readers who have enjoyed our books - still to this day - is genuinely emotional, gratifying and humbling, and I thank everyone who has ever done this. I can’t begin to describe how appreciated it is.
Chasing a high
But over the years, comics became something of an addiction, and I convinced myself that I had to keep making books so my life had a purpose, and to remind people that I exist. My silly brain kept telling me that if I stop putting books out, I’ll fall off radars, I’ll be forgotten and my life will no longer have meaning.
This clearly isn’t true, but I’ve recently come to realise that it’s all due to many factors - putting too much value in tweet views, likes, the dopamine hits that come with being able to announce or talk about new projects or things going well. Whenever I didn’t have anything to say or announce (simply because I was between issues) I just felt hollow and worthless, like I wasn’t doing this right, or that I was in danger of falling off radars.
I’d start new projects before finishing my current ones, unable to focus on clearing my to-do list because I felt the need to keep creating new stuff to stay relevant.
It was wrong, misguided and not a great way to create. I’d clearly lost sight of why I started doing this in the first place - to have fun being creative and making stories I personally love.
Beneath all of these negatives, I’ve genuinely loved making all of my books, but being honest, I have no passion left to make anything new right now, which is why I need to get off Kickstarter (again, aside from my currently unfinished series).
Aside from crowdfunding those series to completion, my new approach is to take a lot of time off writing after the Run ‘n’ Gun book is done to refresh my headspace, give myself time to focus on my life, friendships and relationship again, and focus on my health and wellbeing.
When I feel ready and able, I’ll only be creating publisher pitches in future. I’ll only do these when I actively feel passionate about it, and for stories I really love and want to tell. I’ll have more time to think about creating whole new worlds and stories again, and get that creative satisfaction back again in a huge way.
I’m lucky enough to now be in talks with some pretty awesome publishers and literary agents who are keen to potentially work with me and help me bring some of my all-new pitch ideas to reality. It’s still early days, but these ideas are wildly different to anything I’ve ever written before, but even then, I’ll only start working on them and discussing with these publishers/agents when I feel ready to do so (again, for the good of my well-being).
Burning out badly
My obsession with always having something to produce and to show online has led me to work on my comic projects constantly, into the early morning, neglecting to get out of my chair for hours, eat food, drink water or relax (my ADHD is likely a factor here). Also, I’d be doing this the morning before going to my 9-5 full time job.
I’d often work across my actual job and comics for at least 12 hours a day and sleep 5-6 hours if I was lucky, due to worry, deadlines and stress. I’d go to my day job feeling tired, unhealthy and irritable, while being unable to concentrate, which led to me making mistakes.
And even through all of this, I’d feel unable to switch off thinking about my comic, and be checking my phone to post about the books, reply to emails, pay invoices, respond to backers, refresh my Kickstarter campaign to check totals, and a million other things.
Then there’s the fulfilment part of Kickstarters, which see me sitting in my attic surrounded by boxes upon boxes of comics and other rewards for many hours at a time, over a span of weeks, making up almost 1000 reward bundles for Killtopia while (again) not leaving the chair, eating, drinking or stopping, to the point I get repetitive strain injuries and/or start to feel physically unwell. It’s a lonely, awful process that I just can’t do on my own.
It’s become clear that Killtopia as a series has become too big for one person to fulfil, market, crowdfund and run on their own, and recently I realised I had to change me approach to it and the sequel series ‘Phantoms’ - which was when I told myself that I wish I’d never made it to begin with, due to how stressful it had become.
That made me feel so sad, especially after hearing how happy it’s made backers and readers over the years, and this is one of the big realisations that made me want to slow down, recharge and try to re-capture my love of doing this for fun.
Also, earlier this year I just started to question why I was doing this and if my comics are worth potentially killing myself with stress and neglecting my health.
The answer of course is no, they’re not worth that. Nothing is.
Another issue is the sheer amount of mental and financial this is all causing me.
Is the party over (or ending?)
I’ll be honest here: it’s becoming so difficult to make your comics stand out online (for far too many reasons to list here) and to make money doing this at an indie level - but I want to be clear that I don’t think anyone should *expect* to make money writing comics, so what I’m referring to here is the challenging of recouping some costs and not putting yourself massively out of pocket self-publishing comics.
Despite our generous backers helping us raise a decent amount on Kickstarter to make my comics a reality, costs are rising to the point where crowdfunding (to me) is in danger of becoming untenable. A good example is that postage costs now (in some cases) are higher than the cost of a single book - and that clearly puts so many potential backers off supporting projects. Other creators do make Kickstarter work so well for them, so I’m just talking about my own perspective here. I just don’t want my success to be dependent on that platform any more.
In the many months between Killtopia and BPM #2 being funded on Kickstarter, and me actually printing and shipping them, the costs to printing, materials and shipping jumped dramatically, meaning that what I raised across both books didn’t cover everything.
This, as well as other comic costs (more on those in a sec) have meant I’ve had to pay £11,000 of my own money to get everything done and paid for. That was a huge chunk of my life savings and buffet money (I’m a contractor in my 9-5 and that money was meant to be there to help me if I ever couldn’t find work)
And now it’s mostly gone. Other factors include the rising cost of comic con tables, accommodation during cons, travel to cons, rising materials costs, and rising artist rates (disclaimer: this is NOT a complaint at the artists themselves, as inflation and rising living costs demand that artists rates must go up - I do the same as a contractor because we all have essentials we have to pay for!)
On top of that, comic cons are proving to be less reliable for making back costs, as the audience has changed a lot. I also need to stress that seriously isn’t a dig at anyone because we all like what we like and I’d never begrudge anyone ever for enjoying something - but, it feels that many are moving away from a comic focus, and the audience with it, with a greater emphasis on cosplayers, anime stuff, movie stuff, merch, art prints, badges and other neat trinkets, and lots of things that aren’t comics.
Lastly, times are seriously tough for so many people, so they have less money to spend at shows. Less cash to spend means less potential sales, and you can start to see how futile this all feels, which is why I’m not booking any more cons until I feel confident enough to do so again.
I know I’m perhaps not the best at managing the financial side of comics, but I’m not a project manager - I’m a writer, but the sheer scale of things like Killtopia has forced me into a project management / accountant role that I no longer enjoy.
I love writing so much, and just want to do that again, without all the other stuff I’ve mentioned above, which is why I’m saying goodbye to Kickstarter for my all new projects.
So what now?
Sorry this has been such a long newsletter but I felt that I owed you all (especially those who have supported my work for many years now) a proper explanation for this decision.
Here’s a recap of where things (hopefully go from here)
I’m not doing Kickstarters for any all new comics for the foreseeable future
But, I will do campaigns for Bust #5, BPM #3 and #4, Ninja Baseball Spirits #2-5 and Killtopia: Nano Jams.
This WON’T include Killtopia #1-5 omnibus or Killtopia: Phantoms - but watch this space next year for updates on what *is* happening with those!
Everything else (including three unannounced big pitches) I’ll be sending to publishers. If they get rejected, it’s unlikely I’ll crowdfund them. I’ll just move on to the next pitch idea.
Meanwhile, I’m going to flesh out www.Killtopia.co and www.Dave-cook.com with new stuff, like a store so you can grab my books and merch, and other neat things.
Also meanwhile, I’ll keep chatting with the publishers and agents I’m in contact with, to try and get more work for hire stuff and increase the potential for pitches getting picked up.
Before I do the pitching, I’m just taking a lot of time off writing, just to enjoy life again for a while, and let the creativity and passion flow again. I think whatever stories I dream up next will be far better if I do this.
When I feel ready, I’ll start doing comic cons again.
And that’s it for now. Will this all work? Will it help me find the spark again? Will it help me land a bigger publishing deal?
I really have no idea, but I know I need that time off and to step away from my dependency on Kickstarter.
Once I’ve done that for a while, I should be able to see the right path ahead for me more clearly.
I just want to close this by saying a sincere and heartfelt thanks to all of you for supporting me, and for all the kind words over the years. This isn’t the end, it’s hopefully the start of something bigger and more healthy.
Until November’s newsletter, thanks and take care of yourself.
-Dave
Thanks for sharing Dave. Indie comics are no joke these days, and things are not getting easier. Hopefully a break will be invigorating.
Hope everything works out.